Where do I see myself in 5 years??

Yesterday my bishop asked me, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" I really did not have a clear answer. I said "well,.. I want kids even if I need to adopt, I want to get married (followed by, I don't know if I will EVER find anyone to marry) I get bored of guys easily,.. anyway continuing... I also said I want to travel. LAME!! I am usually a girl with a plan but apparently not a five year plan. Well actually lately (within the last year) I have not planned or made goals,.. I am just kind of winging it.

After a lot of thought and after an anonymous text saying I should blog more,.. here it is, my 5 year plan.

Family: As stated above I want kids, realistically no more then 2 as I don't want to be a stressed out mom with no breaks for myself. But I will be the type of mom that adopts all the neighborhood kids,.. so really I will have approximately 36 kids.

Marriage, well I would love to get married BUT I am kind of doubtful at the moment. FYI I am happy being single and self sufficient so to settle is just not something I would ever do. For me to get married, I would need to find a best friend with many common interests. I love me time, so no one clingy. I will need lots of cuddles and laughter. If he has a lot of negative debt other then car, house and student loans I would have issues with this. I have to be attracted and most importantly do I love his family??

I want to have a better relationship with my immediate family,.. I call my mom almost daily BUT I have a big family and I don't know them as I would like to. So my goal here is to talk to every member of my immediate family +steps on my dad's side at least 2x a month. (optimally this would be weekly)

Career: Right now I am a lead with eBay and I really like my job. I will work with eBay for at least the next 3 years. I want to become a supervisor with eBay and with all the growth and my work ethic this will be easy! eBay however does not have part time positions and with me planning on kids I will need a part time position. Looking back at past jobs,.. I was happiest in the travel industry so this is a likely part time future possibility. OR I would have my own business.

School: I am 1 class away from an associates!! It's a computer class, I need to test out of this class... then I am done!!

For a BA I am still deciding on a travel BA or a business BA. I will have to decide by next sem cause I need to get started,.. time to start filling out scholarship apts! Westminster costs $25k a year!!! I am not sure what the U costs but those are the two schools I have in mind and I would rather NOT get a student loan.

Travel: I love seeing new places. I love the history, the culture and the adventure!! The rest of this year I will say Vegas and Moab.

Within the next five years I want to go back to NY and HI, do a Europe trip and a trip to Asia, with lots of smaller trips but those would be the big ones!

I am not opposed to moving out of Utah if the opportunity presents itself. I love UT but,..


Finances: Money is tight right now but my only debt is my house and car. If I can increase my income by $300 and double my car payment I can have my car paid off in 18 months. I can then take an extra $600 to put towards the principal on my 2nd mortgage or another investment.

I have stocks I have a 401k and they are both doing really great. I want to invest in real estate. I love house projects so I want to find fixer upper houses for about $100k or lower in a neighborhood where the average home sells for about 30k more then the purchase price. I have a real estate license, I just need the finances to do this. I have thought about speaking to my dad as an investment partner.

In 5 years I want: My car paid off, $2000 in an emergency savings fund, and to have bought 3 investment homes,... which I may rent out or flip.


Physical: This year with all the free food (dates) and summer BBQ's I weight more now then I have ever weighed (125) My ideal weight is 99-109 (I am short, remember this before you judge) I need to work out more, I am really active and I have a high metabolism so shedding 20lbs should only take 2 months. Time to get started (I did workout this morning)

Also my hair is medium length,.. I want it long.

And this is embarrassing to say as it is sometimes looked down on, but I totally want a boob job. I took the boob pills once and they worked (I DO NOT RECOMMEND, it messes up your hormones and your girls will shrink once you stop) But I loved the way it looked and the way I felt,.. so I want one. Just to clarify it has nothing to do with attracting guys,.. I am beautiful enough already this would be for me!!

A Blog on my Dog

I generally oppose change and it takes a lot for me to move forward. I however am so glad for the change of ownership with Tyberious. The house is calm and is taking on a peaceful feel. I am not pulling up piles of fur off the carpet, couch, bed and me anymore. The house smells better and I feel much more organized.

Jax is being such a good boy, he has the house to himself during the day as opposed to being locked in the garage. I am finding it is fun walking him morning and night (it was a nightmare taking both dogs on a walk). We are working on further training.

I am the Meanest Lead Ever,.. I should be Fired!

My supervisor Dave was called to military duty for two weeks. He is off basking in the sun in South Carolina. While he was out I took it upon myself to,.. Uhum tease him a bit. I boxed up all of his stuff, Decorated his desk to "Welcome Our New Supervisor Luke!!" (Luke is a guy on my team) Oh and I had Dave's badge access shut off!! (snicker)

I am soooo mean,.. don't worry though pay back is a bitch! I am sure he will come up with something equally as good,.. or he will just drown me when we go to Lake Powell next month.

Notice the pictures on the desk,.. They are of Luke and his wife!! :)

Ahh Crap I Have a Regret!

I recently meet a man that I dare say is one of the most charismatic playful gent I have had the pleasure of meeting.

I find he still enters my mind from time to time. I want to apologies, I was such a jerk. I dated his friend, which he is cute but not nearly had the same chemistry and connection. I was jealous of the other girls this dreamy man was also dating,.. even though I didn’t know who they were. At the same time the idea of me actually committing to this guy didn’t feel right, I would have committed just to delete the competition and not for the right reasons, I was no where near ready. Anyway, I was my worst and my best with this guy and I totally embarrassed myself.

I Looked in the Mirror and the Reflection is Perfect!

I feel so good!! I feel I am back to my usual happy free spirited self!

Life is fun and I am making the most of it!

Friday I helped a friend that was filming a movie,.. its a story about a girl that releases a red balloon into the world a boy finds it and the two find one another,.. I was the girl! But the lighting was poor so none of the footage will be used.
I had the urge to go snowshoeing up to Diamond Hot springs,.. my favorite hike, but the road was closed half way up. Instead I and Matt headed to a pool that is filled by a natural hot spring.

Saturday I and Nick went to Temple square to watch the movie about Joseph Smith. It was a great movie and we had a lot of fun!

Monday I went and saw YesMan with Logan, after Logan took me to Westminster where we went to a studio and danced the night away.

Tuesday I was not feeling so well, so Patrick came over and we watched a movie.

Tonight Patrick and I are going to the Jazz game,.. I am so excited!

To Do List

The time line on most of these, I will give 2 years although travel is continuous and marriage has no timeline as I refuse to settle and having a baby follows marriage.

ATTENTION MOM - Don't read this one!

• Go on a Caged Shark Dive. -I would love to see a Great White Shark, I think sharks are beautiful animals and the Great White is the ultimate! I am fascinated by nature and discovery programs and one of my favorite programs is Shark Week. My first dive I ever did was a shark dive with black and white tip sharks in Maui.
-Mom I told you not to read it!

• Scuba Diving Certification. -I love diving, its a fascinating world underwater. I want to get more involved with diving and more diving education. This is dependant on finances,..

• Go Skydiving. -I am terrified of heights Its one of the only fears I have that puts my tummy in knots and makes my feet feel funny. But I won't let that stop me experience this,.. although it might make me pause for a minute or two.

• Travel the World. -I want to see so many places and experience so much more out of life. Some major areas I want to visit is: Japan, Thailand, China, Greece, Italy, Spain, France, Chech Republic, Russia, Austria, Switzerland, Belgium, Germany, Denmark, England, Scotland, Ireland, Egypt, South Africa, The Jungles, Sahara Desert, Australia, New Zealand, Brazil, Peru, Venezuela, Guatemala, Mexico, Puerto Rico, All over the Caribbean, Tonga, Philippians, Canada and I am sure I missed so may more locations,... all over really!

• Career. -I want a career that by the end of the day I feel accomplished and proud of my hard work. This is something that will require more thought. I want to do something that I would be happy doing, will give me financial freedom and will give me freedom to live the type of life I want.

• Get and Maintain Organization. –You would never know it by seeing my home some days but I love cleanliness and organization and I get frustrated and so embarrassed if my home is not clean. I however am not the best homemaker and tend to ignore messes. My goal is to get my house clean and keep it clean and no longer ignore things out of place. I am happy to report my kitchen is currently spotless.

• Finish My Degree. -This won't be difficult I am only a class away,.. Its a computer class I could easily test out, I just need to do it!

• Get Married. -This will be a challenge. Maybe my biggest challenge as I am scared of being in a relationship,.. In the past I have attracted guys that were emotionally, mentally and physically bad for me. I have changed my standards and hopefully who I attract but I find myself in a state of panic and freaking out followed by a tendency to sabotage any relationship,... if I start to see a possible future with the man. One step at a time I guess,.. I just need to calm down find a Man that I can call my best friend and take it slow. Oh and he better not get in the way of my other to do things otherwise no deal.

• Have 1-2 Kids. -I am hoping for a boy and girl but I would be happy with whatever god gives me. I already know I am an amazing mom and how adventurous fun kids are. They really renew magic to ordinary life. I am sure I will be the type of mom that has 12 random kids running around the house. However I think balance is essential and parents still need alone time, time with each other, and time with friends and I am still going to travel, which means my kids will get a lot of quality time with family.

Its Clearing

I feel so much better today!!

I woke up this morning and just felt different. Its like the feeling you get after it rains, clean and refreshed.

Tonight, I am going to visit my new found friend Cory. He knows some body work so I am curious if he is able to find out what my two week bout of bad mood, sadness, nervousness, self destructive attitude was all about and help prevent it from coming back.

I feel like myself again, I can breathe, I am happy and once again I am in control. I guess you can't appreciate this feeling until you don't have it for a while... trust me, normal feels great!